But You’re in Love with an Idiot

I’m in love with my roommate, but he’s in love with a douchebag.

I thought of helping him with that idiot, but I didn’t expect I’d dig a hole and fall by myself.

(╯‵□′)╯︵┻┻ How can a handsome and witty guy like me be calculated? I must have gotten up the wrong way. I’ll just go back to sleep again.